With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I started thinking about why this holiday is such a big deal. Why should we be expected to produce a card, flowers, candy or jewelry on February 14th to show loved ones how much they mean to us? Does the amount of money spent on gifts reflect the depth of feelings for the recipient?
I have a theory about the motivations for gift giving:
1) People who feel obligated to give flowers or candy are typically resentful about it.
2) Feelings of guilt come into play if there's no money to buy a gift or if it’s not what he/she would like to give as a gift. The worry, then, is that a huge argument will ensue and will result in the relationship ending.
3) Another worry is what the gift represents; is it a reflection of wanting to move the relationship forward, is it a representation of one person feeling less than the other person?
4) "If I do this for him/her, then I expect [fill in the blank]."
I think that a lot of money is needlessly spent just because everyone else is doing it on that one day.
What's often forgotten is if you care about someone, let him/her know daily. It would make more sense to surprise your
partner with tokens of affection on a regular basis and not on a holiday.
Some no-cost/low-cost ideas to surprise your sweetie include:
- Watching a movie on Netflix, while eating pizza by candlelight
- Hiking in the Adirondacks
- Getting up early to watch the sun rise
together
- Writing a thank-you letter expressing your appreciation for all your partner does for you
- Getting his car washed and vacuumed
- Making her dinner...and doing all the clean-up, too
The pressure of spending big on Valentine's Day is because the greeting card, restaurant, candy and flower industries tell us we SHOULD. Save your hard-earned dough and spread the love every day.
(c)2011-16 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.
