Did you ever stop to think that everything you are or ever will be is completely up to you? That you are where you are because of who you are? Truth is, everything that exists in your adult life exists because of you, your behavior, words, decisions and actions. For example, you are a college student because you made the decision to pursue a degree, filled out the application, ordered your transcripts, registered for classes, and choose to go to those classes. Nobody made this happen but you.
We all have freedom of choice, and because you have chosen each and every circumstance of your adult life, you are completely responsible for all of your successes and failures, your happiness and unhappiness, your present and future. A really important lesson adults can learn is that no one else can make you succeed or fail, or feel happy or unhappy, empty or fulfilled.
The acceptance of personal responsibility is what separates the adult from the child. Children have neither the ability nor the freedom to make such high-level decisions. But as adults, it’s the great leap forward into maturity. Responsibility is the hallmark of the fully-integrated, fully-functioning human being. Which. Is. Good.
Responsibility goes hand-in-hand with success, achievement, motivation, happiness and self-actualization (reaching your greatest potential). It’s the absolute minimum requirement for accomplishing everything you could ever really want in life. Accepting that you’re completely responsible for yourself and realizing that no one is coming to the rescue is the beginning of peak performance.
The opposite of accepting responsibility is making excuses and blaming people, things and circumstances for what’s going on in your life. When people get into the habit of making excuses, they get into the habit of side-stepping responsibility at the same time.
Irresponsible people have a catch-all excuse they use whenever challenged with a difficult task or one that requires more self-discipline and persistence than they had thought. As soon as things start to go poorly, they pull out their excuse and let themselves off the hook. And there they stay...with a goal that is left unfulfilled, and stuck in the belief that they are incapable of doing anything different or better.
When you take personal responsibility, you will:
* Acknowledge that you are solely responsible for the choices in your life.
* Accept that you are responsible for what you choose to feel or think and how you behave.
* Accept that you choose the direction for your life.
* Accept that you cannot blame others for the choices you have made.
* Hold the rational belief that you are responsible for determining who you are, and how your choices affect your life.
* Accept responsibility for the consequences of your actions.
* Admit when you make a mistake and have the desire to do better next time.
* Own up when you achieve something wonderful, without saying, "Oh, it was nothing" or "Anyone could do what I did."
* Realize that you determine your feelings about any events or actions addressed to you, no matter how negative they seem.
* Recognize that you are your best cheerleader; it is not reasonable or healthy to define yourself based on what other people think of you.
* Recognize that as you enter adulthood and maturity, you determine how your self-esteem will develop.
* Not feel sorry for the "bum deal" you have been handed but taking hold of your life and give it direction and meaning.
* Let go of your sense of over-responsibility for others.
* Protect and nurture your health and emotional well being.
* Structure your life with time management, stress management, confront fears and burnout prevention.
* Take an honest inventory of your strengths, abilities, talents, virtues and positive points.
* Develop positive, self-affirming, self-talk scripts to enhance your personal development and growth.
* Let go of blame and anger toward those in your past who did the best they could, given the limitations of their knowledge, background and awareness.
