Depression: The holidays and beyond...

Image:  seattlest.com

If the Hallmark holiday specials and "A Charlie Brown Christmas" are to be believed, the holiday season makes us feel connected, appreciated, loved, cherished, grateful, hopeful and happy, and reminds us of what's really important.  Getting together with family, donating one's time and money to those less fortunate, and exchanging gifts are ways to express this mindset.  For some folks, the spirit lasts long after the holiday decorations are taken down. 
 


Unfortunately, however, the holidays can have quite a different effect on many people.  It's a busy, stressful time, where expectations of the "perfect" holiday with a "perfect" family fall painfully short.  It's a milestone where people evaluate their lives: broken relationships, losing a job, inadequate financial resources, the death of a loved one, being reminded of one's failures and worrying about an uncertain future cause heartache, distress, anxiety and helplessness.  College students have the added stress of end-of-semester demands.  The decrease in daylight hours adds insult to injury.  It's no wonder people become depressed. 

Image:  Google images

 Although there is much focus on it in the media during the holiday season, depression affects many people year-round.  According to the World Health Organization, almost 19 million American adults have a depressive disorder.  That's nearly 10% of our population, and half of them are women.  Depression affects all people regardless of age, geographic location, demographic or social position.  In fact, would you be surprised to know that Adam Duritz (Counting Crows lead singer), Drew Carey, J. K. Rowling (author of the Harry Potter books), actor Owen Wilson ("Wedding Crashers"), Rosie O'Donnell, singer Sheryl Crow, and Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy bassist) all live with depression?  No one is immune.

So how do you know whether you're depressed?  Here are some typical symptoms to look for:






Image:  Google images


• persistent sad, anxious or "empty" mood
• feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
• feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
• loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed
• decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
• difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
• insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
• appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
• restlessness, irritability
• persistent physical symptoms that don't respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive problems and chronic pain
• thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts






Image:  Google images



The key word here is persistent.  According to the DSM-IV-TR (the handbook by which mental health professionals define and diagnose psychological disorders), five or more of these symptoms would be present--every day or nearly every day--during the same two week period, and would represent a change from a person's usual behaviors. Depression is not a weakness or a character flaw...it is a real medical illness. The good news is that with proper treatment, most people will improve.




If you are experiencing several of the symptoms listed above, these are the actions I recommend to be taken:

Image:  Google images


• If you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else, call 911 immediately or get to the nearest emergency room, where your safety can be protected, and treatment can begin.
• Make an appointment to meet with your primary physician for a complete physical.  Sometimes the symptoms of depression are actually caused by a physiological reason.
• Make an appointment with a counselor (381-1365).  Having a non-judgmental person to talk to is very healthy, and you'll also learn it is extremely helpful in your quest to feel better.
• Remember that people rarely "snap out" of a depression.  Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately.  Feeling better takes time.
• Mild exercise, going to a movie, a sporting event, or participating in other social events may help.
• Let your family and friends help you.  Contrary to popular belief, asking for and accepting help is a sign of strength and health.

Depression is one of the most treatable mental disorders and has an extremely high success rate with the proper treatment.  If you or someone else is having difficulty around the holidays--or any time of the year, for that matter--seek help immediately.  You're worth it!

Image:  iStockphoto.com

QUESTION:

Have you ever dealt with depression?  How did you handle it?  What worked?  What didn't?

For more information on depression, go to http://www.nimh.nih.gov/ and http://www.pendulum.org/

(c) 2011 Robyn M. Posson

Assertive or Aggressive...which type are you?

Many people confuse being assertive with being aggressive.  For the record, these are two completely different behaviors--one promotes positive, healthy self-esteem and mutually satisfying relationships, while the other promotes conflict and difficult relationships and destroys one's sense of well-being.  Being assertive demonstrates confidence and maturity; aggressiveness indicates insecurity and behaving in immature ways. 

Aggressiveness is defined as: "1.  unprovoked attacks, invasions, menacing others; 2. making an all-out effort to win or succeed at any cost; highly competitive; 3. vigorously energetic, especially in the use of forcefulness; 4. forward and pushy" (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/aggressive).  Notice the unflattering and undesirable behaviors, like unprovoked attacks, menacing, forcefulness, pushy...all which suggest that an aggressive person will do anything to get the task done, regardless of who he/she hurts in the process.

Assertiveness, on the other hand, is defined as "behavior which enables an individual to act in his/her own best interests, to stand up for him/herself without undue anxiety, to express his/her honest feelings comfortably, or to exercise his/her own rights without denying the rights of others...Assertiveness is the expression of one's feelings, beliefs, opinions and needs in a direct, honest and appropriate manner.  Such assertive behavior will reflect a high regard for one's own personal rights as well as the rights of others" (http://www.jpmlifeinnovations.com/files/Assertive%20Behavior.pdf).  An assertive person not only respects his/her rights, but considers others' rights equally.  A person with an assertive philsophy will get along well in the world; the aggressive person, not so much.

So how does one become assertive or improve their assertive behaviors?  By learning the philosophy, your rights and how to communicate assertively.

  

Principles of an Assertive Philosophy:

• We try to live in such a way that we never intentionally hurt anyone.  When we honestly share ourselves in direct and appropriate ways, everyone benefits
• By denying our own feelings, we sacrifice our personal integrity and damage our relationships.  Likewise, our relationships are hurt when we try to control others through hostility, intimidation or guilt.
• Personal relationships are more authentic and mutually satisfying when we are honest with each other.  When we frequently sacrifice our rights, we teach other people to take advantage of us.
• By standing up for ourselves and letting ourselves be known to others, we gain self-respect and respect from others

Your Basic Assertive Rights...You have the right to:

• Be treated with respect
• Say no and not feel guilty
• Experience and express your feelings
• Take time to slow down and think before you act
• Change your mind
• Ask for what you want
• Do less than you are humanly capable of doing
• Ask for information
• Make mistakes
• Feel good about yourself

While exercising your assertive rights, keep these 3 points in mind:

• Having assertive rights does not give you permission to act any way you want with total disregard for other people.
• Accepting rights bring personal power, which brings responsibility to the assertive person.
• Our assertive rights do not negate or make less important another person’s rights in a situation.

Assertive Communication

• Standing up for your rights without infringing on the rights of others.
• Results in an “I win and you win” outcome.
• Involves expressing beliefs, feelings, and preferences in a way which is direct, honest, appropriate and shows a high degree of respect for yourself and others.

To communicate with others effectively, honestly and with assertiveness: 

§        Describe the behavior: “When you . ..  “

§        How it affects you:  “It affects . ..  “

§        Describe your feelings:  “and I feel . ..  “

§        Specifically describe what you want:  “Therefore, I would like .. .“

                       

Example:  “When you shout at me, I am unable to work with you and I feel angry.  Therefore, I would like for you to stop shouting and tell me what you want.”

Other examples of assertive communication:

“When you talk, I can’t hear the movie. Please keep it down.”

“I really like it when you wear that shirt.  You look great!”

“When you yell at me, I feel angry.  Please stop shouting and tell me what you want.”

“It sounds like fun, but I can’t join you this time because I need to study.”

These suggestions represent just the tip of the assertiveness iceberg...there's lots more to know about exercising assertive behavior in a mutually beneficial and mature manner.  If you learn to follow these basics, however, you will be well on your way to improving not only how you feel about yourself, and you will learn how to communicate to others how you expect to be treated.

(c) 2011 Robyn M. Posson
   

Soft Skills Hack: Learning Soft Skills on Campus

"Emotional competence is the single most important personal quality that each of us must develop and access to experience a breakthrough.  Only through managing our emotions can we access our intellect and our technical competence. An emotionally competent person performs better under pressure."  --Dave Lennick, Executive VP, American Express Financial Advisers


At the risk of stating the obvious, the primary goal of college students is to learn academic and technical skills to get a satisfying job that will provide adequate financial security--in other words, getting a job you love that pays well enough to be comfortable.  Going to classes, reading textbooks, taking exams, and creating concrete evidence that one understands a topic (such as giving a presentation, flying an airplane, manufacturing nanoscale products, painting a landscape, or creating a delicious meal) are the hoops we all need to jump through to get us to strengthen our core competencies (otherwise known as "hard skills" or "technical skills").  There are, however, another set of skills learned or improved in college that are equally (if not more) important than book-smarts or being technically competent.  They are called "soft skills" or "social skills."

Soft skills refers to a group of personal qualities, habits, attitudes and social graces that make someone a good employee and compatible to work with. Companies value soft skills because research suggests (and experience shows) that they can be just as important an indicator of job performance as hard skills.

When looking for a job, it's important to remember that each company looks for a different mix of hard skills and experience depending on the business it's in. Given the current dismal job market and customer-service philosophy, however, it's no longer enough to be a functional expert. As a result, employers scrutinize every applicant's qualifications; not only do they seek intellectually and technically adept employees, they are more likely to place greater emphasis on the applicant's people skills and how well they will "fit" within the company.  With the help of Kate Lorenz, here are the top ten soft skills employers value the most:

1. Strong Work Ethic
Motivated and dedicated to getting the job done, no matter what it takes. Conscientious and does the best work possible.  Reports to work every day and on time.  Admits when a mistake is made, and has the willingness to learn how to do it better next time.  Considers deadlines as non-negotiable and works diligently to complete tasks before the deadline.  Treats all members of the organization with respect, regardless of their position.

2. Positive Attitude
Optimistic and upbeat, generates positive energy and good will with supervisors, colleagues, customers, and vendors.

3. Good Communication Skills
Verbally articulate, writes well and is a good listener. Expresses needs in a way that builds bridges with colleagues, customers and vendors.

4. Time Management Abilities
Knows how to prioritize tasks and appropriately manages working on a number of different projects at once. Uses time on the job wisely.  Meets deadlines every time.

5. Problem-Solving Skills
Resourceful and able to creatively solve problems that will inevitably arise. Takes ownership of problems and doesn't blame or leave them for someone else.  Asks for help when needed.

6. Acting as a Team Player
Works well in groups and teams. Willingness to assist colleagues as needed.  Cooperative and takes a leadership role when appropriate.

7. Self-Confidence
Truly believes he/she can do the job well. Projects a sense of calm and inspires confidence in others. Has the courage to ask questions that need to be asked and freely contributes ideas.

8. Ability to Accept and Learn From Criticism
Handles criticism gracefully and in a mature manner.  Views this kind of feedback as a "teachable moment" rather than a personal attack.  Is coachable and open to learning and growing as a person and as a professional.

9. Flexibility/Adaptability
Able to adapt to new situations and challenges. Embraces change and is open to new ideas.

10. Works Well Under Pressure
Appropriately handles the stress that accompanies deadlines and crises. Able to do the best work and comes through in a pinch.

So how does a college student learn these important job and personal skills?  Read my next blog entry to gain some valuable tips to give you an edge over others who are competing for the job you want.

(c) 2011-2016 Robyn King.  All Rights Reserved.

Soft Skills Hack: Top Ten Tips for Developing Soft Skills

No doubt your goal is to complete your college degree and get a job that you will enjoy.  As mentioned in my last blog entry, these days you need to be more than technically skilled to make it in the workforce.  Here are more detailed, practical ways for building and strengthening soft skills to better position yourself for career success.

1.  Strong work ethic

• Get to class a few minutes early, prepared with all of the tools you need, and ready to hit the ground running when the professor starts to lecture.     
• Show respect and courtesy for every classmate and college employee.  You're more likely to get it when you give it.
• Say "please," "thank you," and "you're welcome" every time.  People naturally respond more positively to politeness. 
• If you are treated with disrespect in any way, seek the help of the appropriate campus employee to help resolve the conflict peacefully.  Do not take matters into your own hands.   
• If you're having difficulty dealing with challenges in your classes or personal life, ask a professor or college counselor for help.
• Abide by the conditions of each class syllabus--reading assignments, deadlines for papers/presentations, attendance and participation, etc.  The syllabus is a contract between you and the professor, and if you choose to stay in the class after receiving it, then you're agreeing to the terms required and are expected to follow them.  All of them.
• Respect deadlines and get all of your assignments done on (or better yet, before) the day they're due.  If you manage your time properly (see #4 below), then any last-minute crisis that may pop up in your personal life won't be made worse by having to beg your professor for an extension. 
• If you make a mistake, take ownership of it, apologize with sincerity, and ask for help so you can do better next time.

2.  Positive attitude

• Focus on what you're doing well, and be proud of those things.  Believe that you will continue to learn, improve and grow.  Realize the good things that are happening to you now, and have faith that more are on the way. 
• Keep your eye on graduation, but stay focused in the present and be grateful for the opportunity you have been given.  Not everyone can or does go to college.  You're one of the lucky ones.
• A cheerful disposition is far better received than someone who always complains and wears a scowl all the time.
• Treat everyone with the respect and courtesy you expect in return.  ("Do unto others...")

3.  Good communication skills

• Communication facilitates mutual understanding between people and builds strong, long-lasting connections and a firm foundation for relationships.  It involves being skilled in writing, speaking, listening, and reading.  In the workforce, you need to do all four very well.
• Refine, hone and improve your writing skills by keeping a journal, writing for the campus newspaper or writing a blog.  Ask for constructive feedback from professors or other college staff whose writing skills you respect.
• Strengthen your speaking skills by taking Introduction to Speech.  You will learn the proper way to speak in a way where you are precise, concise and convey the information you wish to share.  A bonus:  Employers LOVE when an applicant says they are comfortable speaking to groups of people.
• Listen more than you speak.  (Weren't you given two ears but only one mouth?)  You will be amazed at how much you will learn by keeping your mouth shut.
• If you disagree with an opinion, explain why without attacking the other person.
• It is rude and disrespectful to interrupt, ignore, text or talk when someone else is speaking.  Pay close attention to what's going on in class--the information will probably show up on an exam.

4.  Time management abilities

• Learn how to effectively use either a planner, time management software or an app.  If you've never managed your time in this way, it's time to start now.  Ask one of the Learning Center professionals to help you organize and document your academic and personal responsibilities.  Learning to rely on your planner will be awkward at first, but over time it will become second-nature.  And you'll slap yourself in the head and wonder why you didn't do it sooner.
• Plan to arrive a few minutes early for every place you need to be:  class, club meetings, labs, appointments with a professor or advisor, etc.  Estimate how long it takes you to drive to campus, walk between classes, etc., and make notes in your planner to remind you when to leave the house, how much time you have between classes, etc.  Doing so will gain you an enormous amount of respect from professors and others, because arriving early will show that you value their time as much as you do your own.
• Procrastination is a terrible habit to have.  Even if it's "worked" in the past because you still get good grades, submitting projects last-minute (or worse, late) because of improper planning will not ever work in any career.  Remember how miserable, anxious and frustrated you were the last time you procrastinated.  Wouldn't it be better to be so organized that what you need to accomplish gets done before the deadline?  Think of the huge relief and sense of accomplishment you would feel.  Your professors (and eventually, your employer) will be impressed.

5.  Problem-solving skills

• Approach any problem with a clear head and take your personal feelings out of it.  Ask for help in brainstorming with a professor, college professional or classmates for solution options. 
• If you cause a problem, take responsibility for your contribution to it.  Blaming the problem on something or someone other than yourself makes you appear immature and irresponsible.  Take ownership of what you did wrong, then find and follow-through with constructive ways to solve the problem with maturity and integrity. 
• Asking for help when any problem arises (big or small) is a personal strength...NOT a weakness.  There are a lot of free services on campus to help get you to your goal.

6.  Acting as a team player

• Seek opportunities on campus to work on projects with other students.  For example, clubs, student government, volunteer organizations and theatre productions would love to have you join them.  Many hands make light work.
• When a professor has your class do small-group activities, instead of groaning about corny or stupid they are, use them as opportunities to practice working with others collaboratively.  Practice your listening and speaking skills.  
• Volunteer for leadership roles when you can, but it's equally as important to work as one of the team.

7.  Self-confidence

• No one will believe that you are smart, capable, talented and skilled unless you believe it yourself first.  Make a list of your accomplishments, abilities, talents and skills.  Remind yourself every day what a wonderful and unique person you are until it becomes second-nature.  Note: this is not an exercise in arrogance or being conceited...don't confuse being sure of yourself with being stuck on yourself.
• When an appropriate opportunity arises, share what you know about something you're passionate about, or share your ideas on a specific topic.  Show your confidence by raising your hand in class.  Research shows that students learn as much about the topic they're studying from their classmates as they do from the professor.
• Be confident enough to ask questions when you don't know something.  Raise your hand in class every time you don't understand.  This will show that you are confident enough to admit when you don't know something, are willing to learn, and aren't afraid to seek out the correct answer.

8.  Ability to accept and learn from criticism

• The word "criticism" has gotten a bad rap.  If you can view it instead as feedback or suggestions for improvement, then you're less likely to get defensive the next time you receive criticism.
• For example, whenever a professor hands back work you've submitted, the grade you earned and notes written in the margins are forms of constructive criticism...the key word being constructive, which literally means "promoting improvement or development."  They are not meant to attack your intelligence, character or ability.  Use this feedback to help you construct techniques and skills to perform better the next time.
• Be open to suggestions from others, and listen to what they have to say without judgment.  There's a saying that we only learn when we make mistakes, so identify what the lesson is, and make any necessary changes.
• Consider joining professional organizations related to your career and the local Chamber of Commerce.  On campus, there's a group called Rotoract, whose purpose is to match students with local professionals who belong to the Rotary.  They provide mentoring and advice, and often will provide constructive criticism.  There is much to be learned from others who've walked that path before you, and they can perhaps convince you to avoid some of the mistakes they made.  These groups also provide many professional development workshops--often for free--and are yet another way to connect with people like you while learning how to become a respectable and respected professional. 

9. Flexibility/Adaptability

• There's only two things that are certain in this life--death and taxes.  Everything else is subject to change.  Get used to this mindset.
• The graphic to the left shows the qualities an organization looks for in their employees because they are the qualities that the organization itself values.  How does this apply to college?  Find out what your professor values in a student (the syllabus will tell you) or what a coach values in a team member.  Then DO IT.
• When making an appointment with your professor, advisor or other campus employee, remember that their schedules are just as full as yours, so some flexibility is required.  Can you meet them during College Hour?  Come to campus an hour early? Stay a half-hour after your last class?  A little give and take goes a very long way.
• Imagine this:  You realize that some of your classes next semester will meet at Center City.  You've never been there before and aren't too happy that you have to make the commute from the main campus.  You think it sucks, you get all bent out of shape, and want to complain to college authorities of what a stupid idea it is to hold classes downtown in the first place.  Adapting quickly to new circumstances is valued by every employer.  So when you're faced with something new, or are forced to make a huge change, how will you adapt?  Instead of getting all worked up, calculate the time you'll need to get to classes at Center City early.  Go inside the new building and get familiar with it ahead of time.  Or change your class schedule so you'll take all your classes in the same location.

10.  Works well under pressure

• At the risk of sounding like a broken record, meeting deadlines is mandatory and non-negotiable.  Deadlines need to be met EVERY TIME.  Practice this skill by submitting all of your assigned work before they are due.
• When you're stressed over deadlines and crises that seem to show up when you have the least time to deal with them, two things are happening.  One, you haven't managed your time properly; and two, circumstances outside your control have thrown a wrench into what you need to do.  When you find yourself in this situation, remain calm. Then, prioritize what has to be accomplished.  What do you need to handle first, second, third...?  Then do them in order.  Ask for help and delegate tasks to someone else you trust.  Do whatever it takes to get the job done ON TIME (working in the Library until it closes, working with a classmate to complete a project on the weekend, etc.).  Whatever it takes.

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These tips are merely suggestions on how to build your soft skills. Use what works for you, and feel free to come up with your own techniques.  Changing the way you think and behave will be a challenge, but don't give up.  Practice a new skill every day on campus and in your personal life.  And when making these changes start to make you crazy, remember this...once you graduate, armed not only with a college degree and perhaps some related job experience, your well-developed soft skills could give you a significant advantage over anyone who's competing for the job you want. 


You need an edge.  Get the edge.



QUESTION:  Which of these skills do you think you do well already, and which ones do you need to work on?  



(c) 2011 Robyn M. Posson
  

Interpersonal Abuse: You Don't Have to Be Hit to Be Hurt

Image:  layoutsparks.com

Relationships.  A popular subject of discussion with afternoon television-pseudo-psychologists, talk shows, movies and countless self-help books.  Relationships can be all-at-once exhilarating, frustrating, comforting and painful...reason being that we make these ties with others who are, like us, always in a process of changing and growing.  What is of particular interest, though, is how to know whether your relationship is a healthy one.

Before we delve into the topic in the title, let's first define relationships.  We have relationships with lots of people:  significant other/spouse, family, your doctor, friends, peers, classmates, a familiar bartender, gym trainer, hairdresser, professors, co-workers, bosses, and so on.  Each connection we make with another person has a unique dynamic, which refers to the rules that guide the interaction between two people, including how they behave, how they treat, and the level of respect they display for each other.

Image:  agendalove.com

That said, how do you know that yours is healthy and appropriate?   First, take a look at what your rights are in any relationship (including intimate ones):

• To express your opinions and have them be respected
• To have your needs be as important as your partner’s needs
• To grow as an individual in your own way
• To change your mind
• To not allow your partner to control you, nor will you be allowed to control your partner
• To not take responsibility for your partner’s behavior
• To not be physically, emotionally, verbally or sexually abused
• To break up with or fall out of love with someone and not be threatened

For a relationship to be fully functional, all of these rights must always be followed by both people.  We get into trouble when one or both parties fail to live up to these rights and responsibilities (especially the issue of control), and that's called abuse. Period.

In this month of October, where a lot of focus is drawn toward domestic violence awareness and prevention, it seems appropriate to tie into this topic by discussing all of the ways in which humans hurt and abuse others.  Not all of them include putting hands on someone else, but the pain, humiliation and the helplessness of being controlled are nonetheless deeply profound and disturbing to the one being abused.

Have you or your partner/family member/friend, etc. ever behaved in any of the following ways?

Psychological/Emotional Abuse

Q   Stalking (to follow, watch, harass, terrorize or other unwanted contact)

Q   Preventing sleep, rest or personal time

Q   Withholding approval or affection

Q   Making you feel as if you’re crazy in public or through private humiliation; playing mind games

Q   Making threats to commit suicide or murder

Q   Making threats of violence against significant third parties (family, friends, etc.)

Q   Excessive texts, IM’s or phone calls to check on your activity

Q   Unreasonable jealousy or suspicion

Q   Cheats on you, feels no remorse and expects you to accept it without complaint

Q   Forced drug or alcohol consumption

Q   Intimidation (making violent gestures, smashing things, destroying property, harming pets)

Q   Ignoring or discounting goals, dreams, activities or accomplishments

Q   Makes you feel you’re incapable of doing anything right, you’re stupid, ugly, fat, worthless, etc., and no one else will ever want you

Isolation

Q   Limiting outside involvement with a social support network

Q   Expecting you to report every move and activity

Q   Restricting use of the car

Q   Moving residences to prevent you from forming supportive relationships

Verbal Abuse

Q   Yelling

Q   Name-calling

Q   Shaming

Q   Putting you down

Q   Deliberate use of silence/ignoring

Intimidation

Q   Driving recklessly to make you feel threatened or in danger

Q   Destroying your property or cherished possessions

Q   Making you afraid by using looks/actions/gestures

Q   Throwing objects in anger to make you feel threatened

Q   Displaying and threatening to use weapons

Economic Abuse

Q   Rigidly controlling your finances

Q   Spending family income without consent and/or making you struggle to pay the bills

Q   Withholding money or preventing you access to your bank account

Q   Forcing you to account for every penny you earn and spend

Q   Withholding or forcing you to ask/beg for basic necessities (food, clothing, shelter, medications)

Q   Restricting you to an allowance

Q   Preventing you from working or choosing your own career

Q   Demand that you quit your job

Q   Refuses to get a job so the burden of supporting the family falls on you

Q   Sabotaging your job (making you miss work, showing up at your job and causing a scene, calling constantly)

Q   Stealing from you or taking your money overtly

Using Children or Pets

Q   Threatening to take the children away

Q   Making you feel guilty about the children; says you’re an unfit parent

Q   Abusing the children or pets to punish you

Q   Using the children to relay messages

Using Privilege

Q   Treating you like a servant

Q   Making all the big decisions without consulting with you

Q   Being the one to define male and female roles

Q   Acting like the king or queen of the castle

Sexual Abuse

Q   Sex on demand or sexual withholding

Q   Physical assaults during intercourse

Q   Spousal rape or non-consensual sex

Q   Using sexually degrading language

Q   Denying reproductive freedom

Q   You give in because denying your partner could result in an escalated altercation

Perhaps you hadn't considered that some of these behaviors are abusive, but THEY ARE.  If you are in a difficult relationship and want help to stop the abuse, please call the Counseling Center at 381-1365 and make an appointment with a counselor.

Image:  Google Images

For more information on the red flags to look for in intimate relationships, visit

http://www.theredflagcampaign.org/index.php/








(c) 2011 Robyn M. Posson