HELP! (My new advice column.)

Graphic Source

In my work as a mental health counselor, I don't offer advice as to how to solve clients' problems.  In this special kind of relationship, it's essential for the person to bring about change in themselves so their circumstances and environments can improve.  It's empowering and necessary, and good clinical practice.

This does NOT mean that I don't have opinions regarding the challenges I hear about.  I know what I would do if I was in that person's shoes.  (Kick him to the curb!  Knock that crap off!  What're you...CRAY-CRAY??????)  I just keep my comments to myself.

So to satisfy my interest in giving advice to people whom I don't see for counseling, I've created an advice column called HELP!  Visitors can ask questions, and I'll be brutally honest with my responses.  No holds-barred.  Balls to the wall.

I invite questions on dealing with the challenges of life: Healthy relationships, time management, life skills, bullying, decision-making skills, and so on.  Questions that are or could be construed as sexual, violent, hate-mongering or political will be deleted.  Let's keep it PG-13, m'kay?

To give you a taste of what to expect, below is a question recently asked of me:

Q: How can I get over my fear of embarrassment?

Graphic Source

A:  It might help you to know that even the most confident, popular, wealthy, and famous people get embarrassed, and many of them fear it just like you, yet they survive the temporary discomfort and move on. It’s human nature to not want to be laughed at or ridiculed, but look at it this way: anyone who is inappropriately critical or speaks unkindly or disrespectfully over who you are or what you’ve done or said is insecure and fearful themselves. 


Photo Source

Fear is a necessary, life-saving emotion.  It provides the strength and speed to run away from a sabre-toothed tiger chasing us or to put up our dukes and fight off the enemy.  However, it has no place in deciding how we behave or speak on the chance that someone equally as insecure and fearful will embarrass us.

My suggestion is to find a counselor who you like to work with to get at the root of your fear and insecurity, and build up your confidence. In the meantime, take pride in what you do well, your character and integrity, that you have people in your life who love and care about you, and that you’re a good person. Focus on the good, and all the times things went well and you didn’t get embarrassed.  Make note of strategies you've used in the past that kept embarrassment at arm's-length.

We all flub up at one time or another.  No one is immune.  Join us, won't you? 


Photo Source

(c) Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.