I have been approved to take a one-semester sabbatical in the Fall to research and develop a comprehensive bullying prevention program for college campuses. I'm still reeling from the wonderful news. I've wanted this for a very long time. It just seems so unreal, but I'm so very happy and excited to be taking on this venture.
Time to make my travel plans.
ROAD TRIP!!!! Woot-woot!!
PS: I am grateful to Schenectady County Community College's sabbatical selection committee, my colleagues in Student Affairs, the President, and Board of Trustees for their support and honoring me with this opportunity. I won't let you down.
(c)2013 Robyn M. Posson
No. (A complete sentence.)
Such a small word that has so much attached to it. Many people hate to say it, and most of us don't like hearing it.
It's difficult to turn someone down for a date, an invitation to a party, or an offer to study with a classmate. A buddy asks to borrow your very expensive road bike. Your BFF needs money to buy cigarettes.
We worry about hurting the other person's feelings. But agreeing to do something that is not good or holds no interest for you is damaging in two ways: 1) you give in because you feel guilty, or 2) you give in because the other person knows just what to say to manipulate you. Neither is a good reason to say yes when you really want to say no.
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Draw the line, then stick to it. |
Make a plan to be thoughtful and mindful when you are asked for something or to do a task for another person. Stop and think, "Do I really want to do this? Do I have the time? Will I feel better or worse if I say yes?" Then make the decision that's best for YOU.
Peter Bregman wrote a blog entry about this and has these nine tips to help you say no.
- Know your no. Identify what's important to you and acknowledge what's not. If you don't know where you want to spend your time, you won't know where you don't want to spend your time. Before you can say no with confidence, you have to be clear that you want to say no. All the other steps follow this one.
- Be appreciative. It's almost never an insult when people make requests of you. They're asking for your help because they trust you and they believe in your capabilities to help. So thank them for thinking of you or making the request/invitation. Don't worry; this doesn't need to lead to a yes.
- Say no to the request, not the person. You're not rejecting the person, just declining his invitation. So make that clear. Let him know what you respect about him — maybe you admire the work he's doing, or recognize his passion or generosity. Maybe you would love to meet for lunch. Don't fake this — even if you don't like the person making the request, simply being polite and kind will communicate that you aren't rejecting him.
- Explain why. The particulars of your reason for saying no make very little difference. But having a reason does. Maybe you're too busy. Maybe you don't feel like what they're asking you to do plays to your strengths. Be honest about why you're saying no.
- Be as resolute as they are pushy. Some people don't give up easily. That's their prerogative. But without violating any of the rules above, give yourself permission to be just as pushy as they are. They'll respect you for it. You can make light of it if you want ("I know you don't give up easily — but neither do I. I'm getting better at saying no.")
- Practice. Choose some easy, low-risk situations in which to practice saying no. Say no when a waiter offers you dessert. Say no when someone tries to sell you something on the street. Go into a room by yourself, shut the door, and say no out loud ten times. It sounds crazy, but building your no muscle helps.
- Establish a pre-emptive no. We all have certain people in our lives who tend to make repeated, sometimes burdensome requests of us. In those cases, it's better to say no before the request even comes in. Let that person know that you're hyper-focused on a couple of things in your life and trying to reduce your obligations in all other areas. If it's your boss who tends to make the requests, agree upfront with her about where you should be spending your time. Then, when the requests come in, you can refer to your earlier conversation.
- Be prepared to miss out. Some of us have a hard time saying no because we hate to miss an opportunity. And saying no always leads to a missed opportunity. But it's not just a missed opportunity; it's a tradeoff. Remind yourself that when you're saying no to the request, you are simultaneously saying yes to something you value more than the request. Both are opportunities. You're just choosing one over the other.
- Gather your courage. If you're someone who is used to saying yes, it will take courage to say no, especially if the person asking doesn't give up easily. You may feel like a bad friend. You might feel like you're letting someone down or not living up to expectations. Maybe you'll imagine that you'll be seen or talked about in a negative light. Those things might be the cost of reclaiming your life. You'll need courage to put up with them.
"No" is a complete sentence.
Source: http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2013/02/nine-practices-to-help-you-say.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=linkedin&goback=%2Egde_4409416_member_215944128
(c)2013 Robyn M. Posson. All Rights Reserved.
Tooting My Own Horn
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Toot toot!!! |
Ever hear the old saying "If you don't toot your own horn, who will?" It basically means that when you accomplish something that you're proud of or have something to celebrate, you should share the good news with others. It feels good to have others recognize and congratulate your hard work and good fortune. (You know you do the same for them, right?)
That said, I'm ready to toot.
This is a big deal for me. I'm not the kind of person to go around searching for reasons to be in the spotlight, but when a respected group of my peers says, "Atta girl," I want to shout it to the rooftops.
I want you to highlight your accomplishments, awards and good fortune as well. Nobody can toot your horn better than you.
QUESTION: What kinds of awards and accomplishments (big and small) would you like to share with us?
(c)2012 Robyn M. Posson
Surviving Finals Week
Finals are virtually synonymous with stress. The very idea of being tested on a huge amount of material learned over the course of several months, with a score that heavily impacts one’s grade, can bring almost unbearable tension. Fortunately, there are simple study tips that can get you though finals with the least amount of stress possible, and enjoy the break afterward. The following study tips can help you relieve finals stress and do your best.
Combat Test Anxiety
There are things you can do to reduce and control test anxiety, such as incorporating visualizations or breathing exercises, both of which have been found to help lessen test anxiety and some of the negative consequences that go with it. Specific stress management techniques, as well as preparation and proper self-care, can go a long way toward helping you maintain your cool and ward off the negative effects of excessive test anxiety.
Don't neglect your sleep
Most students have more activities available than time to do them all, and finals season usually puts an already-busy schedule into hyperdrive. Such busy schedules tend to affect sleep (both quality and quantity). In addition to this, the measures many students take to combat the sleepiness can actually make things worse. Sleep is important for many reasons, and poor sleep can put students at a serious disadvantage. Therefore, it’s important to avoid sleep-damaging activities, budget time wisely, and manage stress to maintain quality sleep. The following are important strategies to remember:
During the hectic craze that is finals season, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and let a few things slide. However, don’t forget the importance of healthy habits —especially during finals season. While you may be tempted to eat junk food for the sake of convenience, skip sleep to study, and basically "let yourself go" until finals are over, taking care of your body is essential and keeping it (and your mind) functioning required during finals season. The following healthy habits are important for students:

A study group can provide an enriching experience where everyone shares notes, helping one another to remember important tidbits; it can help you gauge how prepared you are, and adjust your study strategy accordingly; it can push you to remember more, and break up the monotony of hours spent studying. It can also be a muted version of a party where not much gets done and you’re left with less time to get the same amount of work done afterward.
The key to study group success is to choose wisely: Pick the most focused, "together" classmates you have available, and really work at it. You want someone who will know most of the right answers, and push you to reach the same level of preparedness. Quizzing one another while you work out, having snacks on hand, or playing music in the background can keep things interesting and make the session a little more fun, but be careful not to let things slide in to the gray area of gossip, loud music, and other traps that sap the "studying" from the session. Choose a focused, committed group of people to study with will help, but if you find yourself in a study party that has turned into just a party, don’t be afraid to be the one to bring the focus back to academics — or go home and study solo. There will be plenty of time to party after finals — when you celebrate your good grades!
Source: http://stress.about.com/od/studentstress/ss/study_tips.htm
(c) 2012 Robyn M. Posson
Combat Test Anxiety
There are things you can do to reduce and control test anxiety, such as incorporating visualizations or breathing exercises, both of which have been found to help lessen test anxiety and some of the negative consequences that go with it. Specific stress management techniques, as well as preparation and proper self-care, can go a long way toward helping you maintain your cool and ward off the negative effects of excessive test anxiety.
Don't neglect your sleep
Most students have more activities available than time to do them all, and finals season usually puts an already-busy schedule into hyperdrive. Such busy schedules tend to affect sleep (both quality and quantity). In addition to this, the measures many students take to combat the sleepiness can actually make things worse. Sleep is important for many reasons, and poor sleep can put students at a serious disadvantage. Therefore, it’s important to avoid sleep-damaging activities, budget time wisely, and manage stress to maintain quality sleep. The following are important strategies to remember:
- Avoid Caffeine Binges
One cup of coffee in the morning probably won’t hurt, but powering down caffeine-laden energy drinks can actually make you more tired in the long run because they can affect the quality of sleep you get. Step away from the Monster and Red Bull!! - Budget Time Wisely
Be sure you allow yourself enough time to sleep--schedule in your 8 hours as you would any other important class, appointment, or shift at work. - Don’t Pull All-Nighters
Contrary to what some students may think, staying up all night to study can actually backfire and result in poorer grades! (See this article for more on what to avoid during finals season.)
During the hectic craze that is finals season, it’s easy to become overwhelmed and let a few things slide. However, don’t forget the importance of healthy habits —especially during finals season. While you may be tempted to eat junk food for the sake of convenience, skip sleep to study, and basically "let yourself go" until finals are over, taking care of your body is essential and keeping it (and your mind) functioning required during finals season. The following healthy habits are important for students:
- Eat Right
Your diet can give you the energy you need to keep going, or cause diet-related stress. Be sure you eat a healthy mix of proteins and carbs, and avoid filling on sugar, caffeine and other junk food. You need good fuel right now! - Get Enough Sleep
If you’re too tired, you may have trouble learning and remembering what you need to know! Be sure to get quality sleep! - Manage Stress
A little stress keeps things vital and exciting; too much stress can make you feel overwhelmed, and even interfere with the learning process. Be sure to keep your stress level healthy. (See this article for more on students and stress relief.)
Get Organized
Organization comes naturally to some, but is also a learned skill that brings great benefits to those who develop it. Being organized with notes can make the difference between easily finding and integrating the information you need, and not knowing where to find those all-important notes. An organized schedule helps you to pace yourself so you have enough time to spend on each subject and avoid pulling all-nighters. Being organized in your living quarters can keep you from being stressed by clutter. You get the idea; putting focus into being organized can save you stress and wasted energy in many areas of academic life, and never is that more obvious than during finals season! The following are specific areas where student organization can really pay off.
- Start Studying Early
If you begin studying before you think you need to, you can go at a more relaxed pace, increasing the possibility that you’ll retain what you learn. Because the stress response can make it more difficult to remember certain facts, avoiding the stress of cramming can help you learn more efficiently. - Have a Study Area
If you do most of your studying in the same place, you not only reduce the risk of losing important papers, but you can condition yourself to be more ready for learning when you sit down there. Be sure to pick a place that’s quiet, distraction-free, and clutter-free. If finding a space at home is impossible, find a space in the Learning Center or Library. - Create Efficient Notes
If you condense the most important pieces of information on a set of note cards that you create for yourself, the act of creating the cards, as well as the ease of using them, can help you to retain the information more easily. Another bonus is that the cards are portable, and you can review them when you have a few minutes.

A study group can provide an enriching experience where everyone shares notes, helping one another to remember important tidbits; it can help you gauge how prepared you are, and adjust your study strategy accordingly; it can push you to remember more, and break up the monotony of hours spent studying. It can also be a muted version of a party where not much gets done and you’re left with less time to get the same amount of work done afterward.
The key to study group success is to choose wisely: Pick the most focused, "together" classmates you have available, and really work at it. You want someone who will know most of the right answers, and push you to reach the same level of preparedness. Quizzing one another while you work out, having snacks on hand, or playing music in the background can keep things interesting and make the session a little more fun, but be careful not to let things slide in to the gray area of gossip, loud music, and other traps that sap the "studying" from the session. Choose a focused, committed group of people to study with will help, but if you find yourself in a study party that has turned into just a party, don’t be afraid to be the one to bring the focus back to academics — or go home and study solo. There will be plenty of time to party after finals — when you celebrate your good grades!
Source: http://stress.about.com/od/studentstress/ss/study_tips.htm
(c) 2012 Robyn M. Posson
I am grateful...
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www.mindbodygreen.com |
As the Thanksgiving holiday approaches, I am more mindful of what a wonderful life I have. I try to live every day with a grateful heart, but it's sometimes difficult when the stressors of daily living loom large. Can you relate?
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Tokens of Gratitude |
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The Gratitude List |
1. my adorable house
2. family who is healthy, safe and thriving
3. my two jobs I love so much
4. my car, Trixie, who gets me where I need to go
5. the people who read my blog
That felt really good. I suggest you join in the feel-good revolution, and not only on the third Thursday of November.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving holiday.
QUESTION: What are you grateful for?
(c)Robyn King 2012-2015. All Rights Reserved.
Suicide
Does that word scare you? It scares the crap out of me (and I'm trained mental health professional). It especially frightens those who have thoughts about suicide and are considering following through. The families and loved ones also suffer.
I've met with quite a few individuals who experienced so much relentless and unrelieved pain, hopelessness, helplessness and depression that they couldn't envision the notion that they could feel better. Some contemplated taking their lives.
Suicidal ideation is a common psychological term for thoughts about suicide but without follow-through. These thoughts may be fleeting or come on a more regular basis.
Ideation may involve:
- a detailed plan
- imagining what it would be like
- self-harming
- unsuccessful, failed attempts
Having a detailed plan is when a person decides the where, how and when of a suicide. For those who develop them, it's a concrete attempt to control their anguish in a chaotic and painful life. A completed plan can actually bring temporary relief to the person's torment.
Thoughts of hurting or killing oneself is pretty common among the general population. Surprised? Sometimes when one is in the depths of misery and despair, the mind goes to "what would happen if I..." Again, it's an internal cognitive strategy to assess one's pain and consider the consequences of following through.

An important and disturbing statistic to think about is that one-third of people who attempt suicide will repeat the attempt within one year, and about 10% of those who threaten or attempt suicide eventually do kill themselves. Therefore, we never take any of these ideations lightly.
[For suicide warning signs, go to this blog entry.]
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There's a saying that "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." If you or someone else has developed a detailed plan, is having disturbing thoughts, self-harming or is tempted to try parasuicide, call 911 immediately for help.
(c)2012 Robyn M. Posson
Suicide (Part 2)
According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide can be prevented. While some suicides occur without any outward warning, most people who are suicidal do give warnings. Prevent the suicide of loved ones by learning to recognize the signs of someone at risk, taking those signs seriously and knowing how to respond to them.
WARNING SIGNS:
Increased alcohol and/or other drug use
Recent impulsiveness and taking unnecessary risks
Threatening suicide or expressing a strong wish to die
Making a plan:
Unexpected rage or anger
The emotional crises that usually come before suicide are often recognizable and treatable. Although most depressed people are not suicidal, most suicidal people are depressed. Serious depression can be manifested in obvious sadness, but often it is rather expressed as a loss of pleasure or withdrawal from activities that had been enjoyable. One can help prevent suicide through early recognition and treatment of depression and other psychiatric illnesses.
WHAT TO DO:
Take it Seriously
(c)2012 Robyn M. Posson, All Rights Reserved
WARNING SIGNS:
- Observable signs of serious depression
Long-lasting low moodPessimismHopelessnessDesperationAnxiety, psychic pain and inner tensionWithdrawalSleep problems
Giving away prized possessions
Sudden or impulsive purchase of a firearm
Obtaining other means of killing oneself such as poisons or medications
WHAT TO DO:
Take it Seriously
- Fifty to 75 percent of all suicides give some warning of their intentions to a friend or family member.
- Imminent signs must be taken seriously.
- Start by telling the person you are concerned and give him/her examples.
- If he/she is depressed, don't be afraid to ask whether he/she is considering suicide, or if he/she has a particular plan or method in mind.
- Ask if they have a therapist and are taking medication.
- Do not attempt to argue someone out of suicide. Rather, let the person know you care, that he/she is not alone, that suicidal feelings are temporary and that depression can be treated. Avoid the temptation to say, "You have so much to live for," or "Your suicide will hurt your family."
Seek Professional Help
- Be actively involved in encouraging the person to see a physician or mental health professional immediately.
- Individuals contemplating suicide often don't believe they can be helped, so you may have to do more.
- Help the person find a knowledgeable mental health professional or a reputable treatment facility, and take them to the treatment.
In an Acute Crisis
- If a friend or loved one is threatening, talking about or making plans for suicide, these are signs of an acute crisis.
- Do not leave the person alone.
- Remove from the vicinity any firearms, drugs or sharp objects that could be used for suicide.
- Take the person to an emergency room or walk-in clinic at a psychiatric hospital.
- If a psychiatric facility is unavailable, go to your nearest hospital emergency room or clinic.
- If the above options are unavailable, call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
(c)2012 Robyn M. Posson, All Rights Reserved
"Bully for you, sh*tty for me"
(Title courtesy of "Fame" by David Bowie)
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to become a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself." (Harvey S. Firestone)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I take great offense when I hear an adult explain that bullying is merely a form of teasing or harassment that's part of typical child development. "Kids will be kids!" "That kid needs to toughen up." "You're too sensitive...you need a thicker skin." Bull patties.
I learned of a recent bullying incident at a local elementary school (a 3rd grade female student was called a racial slur) and when the student and parent complained to the teacher and principal, the administrators downplayed the incident: "the [bully] didn't mean anything by it...he has a speech impediment, he swears he didn't say it. [The victim] must have been mistaken." Swept under the carpet. The little girl has been taught that she doesn't have an ally in that school, and should anything similar happen again, nothing will be done to stop it.
My head wants to explode in anger, frustration and disgust. Having been a victim of bullying from 4th through 8th grade, I know first-hand how it feels and the sense of helplessness when you're not protected, not believed, and the behavior doesn't stop. It sucks. Infinity.
My intent is to define bullying in terms that most people can understand, with the hope that awareness will prevent and stop this pervasive and damaging abuse from being a common occurrence in victims' lives.
Bullying is . . .
What kinds of behaviors constitute bullying?
Perhaps the question should be, where doesn't bullying take place. It happens at home, in school/college, at work, at the mall...in short, everywhere. And it doesn't discriminate based on race, religious beliefs, gender, or socioeconomic status. We're all capable of being bullies or victims.
What are the dynamics of bullying?
In the movies, the bully is often the dumb, insecure kid who picks on people to boost his self-confidence. It's the angry, outcast student who hates other girls who are prettier and more popular than she.
However, research finds that most bullies in actuality are the successful, popular, outgoing people in school or work. They know how to manipulate situations. They know how to target victims without the authorities catching them. And most importantly, they lack the ability to empathize.
Bullies are also characterized as individuals who have been bullied in the past, and who only feel powerful when intimidating and harming others.
How are college students bullied?
One would think that as people mature and progress through life, they would stop behaviors of their youth. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sadly, adults can be bullies, just like their younger counterparts.
While adults are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical, the fact of the matter is that adult bullying exists. The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims, and show them who's boss.
Remember Tyler Clementi? Clementi, a freshman at Rutgers University, took his own life in September 2010 when he jumped off of the George Washington Bridge into the Hudson River--after his college roommate secretly taped him having a sexual encounter with another male and then posted the video to the Internet. Two days later, Clementi left a brief suicide note on his Facebook on Sept. 22 stating, "Jumping off the GW bridge sorry."
The media didn't use the term "bullying" when telling Clementi's story. As such, his roommate was found to not have been responsible for Clementi's death. [I still can't believe it.]
Students who've witnessed or have been on the receiving end of unfortunate incidents don't know which label to use. [Neither do college administrators and judicial officers, for that matter.] Is it hazing? Harassment? Leftover adolescent behaviors? People just being people? No. It's bullying. Bullying is emotional, psychological and physical abuse. Period.
Cyberbullying
In this technological age, it's no surprise that cyberbullying runs rampant. Facebook, Twitter, chat rooms, texting and the various other types of social media are avenues in which these bullies prey on their victims.
Anonymity makes it easier for a bully to attack his/her victim and have no emotional reaction because it's done without actually looking the victim in the eye. (The sign of true cowardice, in my opinion.)
A 2009 MTV survey of about 1,250 people, aged 14-24, found that 50% of those individuals had experienced abusive behavior that was technologically delivered. It also found that older teens (18-24) and females were more likely to be targeted. As the social media continue to play a significant role in daily life, these numbers are expected to increase exponentially.
What are the effects of bullying?
Some people are lucky enough to go through school without bearing the brunt of being bullied, but those who have not been so fortunate are left scarred by the torment that they have endured. Bullying has the ability to permanently change personalities. Victims are psychologically impacted, often experiencing depression, paranoia, isolation and, in extreme cases, suicide (now termed "bullycide").
If Tyler Clementi's story isn't proof enough of the profound effects, think of many of the school shootings (Columbine, Virginia Tech, Oikos University, etc.) in our recent past.
In many cases, students feel forced to drop out of college or programs because feel they are not getting the protection and support they need from faculty to fight the problem, and therefore the option of higher education is abandoned.
What do we do about it?
If you have been the victim of bullying on your college campus, I invite you to complete this 10-question survey, which will help us to better understand and document how prevalent college bullying really is.
www.surveymonkey.com/s/LT36PBQ
Sources:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRUFvQ_25eg&feature=endscreen&NR=1
http://www.examiner.com/article/there-is-such-a-thing-as-adult-bullying?render=print
http://www.thebatt.com/opinion/guest-column-colleges-need-to-recognize-bullying-is-more-than-a-kid-problem-1.2211015
(c)2012-2014 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to become a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself." (Harvey S. Firestone)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I take great offense when I hear an adult explain that bullying is merely a form of teasing or harassment that's part of typical child development. "Kids will be kids!" "That kid needs to toughen up." "You're too sensitive...you need a thicker skin." Bull patties.
![]() |
Words leave scars, too. |
My head wants to explode in anger, frustration and disgust. Having been a victim of bullying from 4th through 8th grade, I know first-hand how it feels and the sense of helplessness when you're not protected, not believed, and the behavior doesn't stop. It sucks. Infinity.
My intent is to define bullying in terms that most people can understand, with the hope that awareness will prevent and stop this pervasive and damaging abuse from being a common occurrence in victims' lives.
Bullying is . . .
- Treating others in an overbearing or intimidating manner
- Humiliating another person by any means necessary
- Belittling another and trying to make another person feel bad
- Provoking evil behavior upon another to make self look good
- Being manipulative toward another
-
- rumors
- teasing
- leaving someone out
- hitting
- threats
- gossiping
- mean words, racial slurs, etc.
- name-calling
- stealing from the victim
- kicking
- pushing
- damaging victim's property
- lies
- insults
- harassment
![]() |
googleimages.com |
Perhaps the question should be, where doesn't bullying take place. It happens at home, in school/college, at work, at the mall...in short, everywhere. And it doesn't discriminate based on race, religious beliefs, gender, or socioeconomic status. We're all capable of being bullies or victims.
What are the dynamics of bullying?
- sibling-sibling
- child-parent
- parent-child
- parent-parent
- child-child
- teacher-teacher
- teacher-student
- student-student
- student-teacher
- boss-employee
- employee-boss
- employee-employee
- boss-boss
- person-stranger
In the movies, the bully is often the dumb, insecure kid who picks on people to boost his self-confidence. It's the angry, outcast student who hates other girls who are prettier and more popular than she.
However, research finds that most bullies in actuality are the successful, popular, outgoing people in school or work. They know how to manipulate situations. They know how to target victims without the authorities catching them. And most importantly, they lack the ability to empathize.
Bullies are also characterized as individuals who have been bullied in the past, and who only feel powerful when intimidating and harming others.
![]() |
Don't these two girls have anything else better to do? |
One would think that as people mature and progress through life, they would stop behaviors of their youth. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sadly, adults can be bullies, just like their younger counterparts.
While adults are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical, the fact of the matter is that adult bullying exists. The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims, and show them who's boss.
![]() |
Tyler Clementi |
The media didn't use the term "bullying" when telling Clementi's story. As such, his roommate was found to not have been responsible for Clementi's death. [I still can't believe it.]
Students who've witnessed or have been on the receiving end of unfortunate incidents don't know which label to use. [Neither do college administrators and judicial officers, for that matter.] Is it hazing? Harassment? Leftover adolescent behaviors? People just being people? No. It's bullying. Bullying is emotional, psychological and physical abuse. Period.
Cyberbullying
![]() |
This shiz hurts big time. |
Anonymity makes it easier for a bully to attack his/her victim and have no emotional reaction because it's done without actually looking the victim in the eye. (The sign of true cowardice, in my opinion.)
A 2009 MTV survey of about 1,250 people, aged 14-24, found that 50% of those individuals had experienced abusive behavior that was technologically delivered. It also found that older teens (18-24) and females were more likely to be targeted. As the social media continue to play a significant role in daily life, these numbers are expected to increase exponentially.
What are the effects of bullying?
Some people are lucky enough to go through school without bearing the brunt of being bullied, but those who have not been so fortunate are left scarred by the torment that they have endured. Bullying has the ability to permanently change personalities. Victims are psychologically impacted, often experiencing depression, paranoia, isolation and, in extreme cases, suicide (now termed "bullycide").
If Tyler Clementi's story isn't proof enough of the profound effects, think of many of the school shootings (Columbine, Virginia Tech, Oikos University, etc.) in our recent past.
In many cases, students feel forced to drop out of college or programs because feel they are not getting the protection and support they need from faculty to fight the problem, and therefore the option of higher education is abandoned.
What do we do about it?
- Colleges need to distinguish bullying behaviors from other student conduct incidents, and set up separate sanctions for dealing with these situations. (On our campus, bullying comes under the category of "Threat of Harm" and often carries serious consequences for the perpetrator.)
- All campus constituents (faculty, staff, administration and students) should be required to take training on how to prevent bullying, how to recognize it in and outside the classroom, and how to identify the signs of depression in themselves and others.
- Embrace a zero-tolerance attitude toward bullying of any kind. When we see something (or when one is being bullied), we need to report it immediately to ensure that the behavior stops. Immediately.
![]() |
We mean business. |
If you have been the victim of bullying on your college campus, I invite you to complete this 10-question survey, which will help us to better understand and document how prevalent college bullying really is.
www.surveymonkey.com/s/LT36PBQ
Sources:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRUFvQ_25eg&feature=endscreen&NR=1
http://www.examiner.com/article/there-is-such-a-thing-as-adult-bullying?render=print
http://www.thebatt.com/opinion/guest-column-colleges-need-to-recognize-bullying-is-more-than-a-kid-problem-1.2211015
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