HELP! What can I do to control my anxiety?

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Automatic thoughts ignite our anxiety.  Automatic thoughts are those message we tell ourselves, such as 

“What if…?”

“I’ll never be able to do this.”

“Everyone is looking at me.”

“I’m not ready...”

You get the drill.  We all do this unconsciously and without forethought.

The reason why automatic thoughts are so damaging is that we believe what they tell us.  These knee-jerk internal messages have been ingrained in us over time, and they are difficult (but not impossible) to challenge and change.

A clinical method of challenging automatic thoughts is “the worst case scenario,” asking oneself, “If what I think is true, what’s the worst thing that could happen?”  Then, once you answer that, you ask yourself, “If THAT is true, what’s the worst thing that could happen?”  And you keep asking the question until you conclude that the initial anxiety-provoking message doesn’t hold true.  Then whatever is in front of you can be addressed.

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Fear of failure or looking stupid or inadequate can be debilitating.  We worry that we don’t know how to handle ourselves.  Another form of self-talk (called cognitive restructuring) is to remind yourself that you’ve done the task that's previously caused anxiety before, and mentally list when you’ve been successful in the same or similar situations.  The fear subsides when we remind ourselves that we really do know what we’re doing most of the time.

(c) 2017 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.