Grit. Tenacity. Bounce-back. Toughness. Adaptability. Resilience. These personal qualities contribute to one's reputation.
When faced with a setback, resilient people don’t give in to
anger or choose to quit because something is difficult. Instead, they tap into a greater
purpose to bounce back stronger than ever.
“They find resilience by moving
toward a goal beyond themselves, transcending pain and grief by perceiving bad
times as a temporary state of affairs,” says Hara Estroff Marano, editor-at-large of Psychology
Today.
Highly resilient people know how to
bend to failures and tragedies and not break. Here are seven habits
of people who know how to confront adversity and move on with their lives
stronger than before:
1.
They have a strong sense of purpose.
Resilient people make a habit of
being persistent. “Knowing what one wants is the first and, perhaps, the most
important step toward the development of persistence,” says Napoleon Hill in “Think and Grow Rich,” one of the top-selling
books of all time.
2.
They are self-reliant.
Resilient people believe that they
alone are fully capable of carrying out their purpose, says Hill, which allows them
to rebound from setbacks.
3.
They have a support network.
Just because successful people are
self-confident and can rely on themselves doesn’t mean that they isolate
themselves from others. Studies show that
having intimate relationships with friends and family provides the benefits of
belonging, increased self-worth, and security that reduces stress levels,
especially in times of crisis.
4.
They are accepting.
Resilient people understand that
frustrating situations, failures, and tragedies are inevitable parts of life,
and they’re able to move on because they don’t ignore or repress their pain.
“Acceptance is not about giving up and letting the stress take over, it’s about leaning
in to experience the full range of emotions and trusting that we will
bounce back,” Brad Waters writes in Psychology Today.
5.
They are optimists.
Those who move forward do not dwell
in a state of victimhood or self-hatred. “What the resilient do is refrain
from blaming themselves for what has gone wrong,” says Marano of Psychology Today. “In the
language of psychology, they externalize blame. And they internalize success;
they take responsibility for what goes right in their lives.”
6.
They turn tough times into opportunities for growth.
In “The Obstacle Is the Way,” Ryan Holiday points to
several historical examples of people who practice the ancient Greek philosophy
of Stoicism by re-framing adversity as an opportunity to learn and grow. He cites Nassim
Taleb, who defines a Stoic as someone who “transforms fear into prudence, pain
into transformation, mistakes into initiation, and desire into undertaking.”
7.
They take care of their health.
Resilient people know how to keep stress from building up and possibly crippling them. Exercise and meditation can be great ways to clear
the mind of anxiety. “Unplugging and stepping off the wheel of our doing can
offer just the reset we need to re-find our center,” says psychologist Karen Horneffer-Ginter.
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(c) 2011-2016 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.
3) Realize that you are strong and powerful, and protecting yourself is what you need to do. When you confront someone, you must be safe (see question #2). When you've been mistreated, hurt or disrespected, you have every right to tell that person you will not allow that to happen any longer. (Personal boundaries are healthy and necessary.) Tell them in detail what the negative consequences will be for them if they continue (report to a trusted adult or authority figure, call the police, etc.) Stand your ground. You are more powerful than your fear.
