HELP! How long should I wait to contact my girlfriend after she asked for space?

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A:  “Space” is the final frontier in a relationship.


Asking for space is a passive-aggressive way of saying that she doesn’t want to be with you, but doesn’t have the courage to end it and doesn’t want to hurt you. Making you wait indefinitely is disrespectful, unfair and unkind.  You have equal say in how this goes, so what are YOU waiting for? 

Ask her to meet you at a neutral place with people around (coffee shop, for example) for the opportunity to have a discussion. Remember that she's already made up her mind to end it.  Prepare yourself for hearing what you don’t want to hear. Let her know how you feel, and tell her you think it's best to break up. Make sure you stay calm, and don’t do anything that would create a scene or cause her to feel unsafe. (If she gets loud or tries to assault you, leave immediately.). 

Consider this food for thought: People in healthy, adult, mutually-respectful and mutually-satisfying relationships accept that each person needs some time alone to enjoy a hobby, go shopping, work on a project, spend time with friends…but ultimately they want to spend a lot of time together, know how to communicate their needs to their partner, and would never dream of abandoning the relationship.

You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you 90% of the time.  Go find her.

(c) 2012-2016 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.