From the Counselor's Desk: Relationships: The Breakup Recovery Plan (Step 5)

[Note: Although this entry was written for a woman in a heterosexual relationship, these same principles will help anyone whose relationship has ended.]

Image: fanpop.com

Whether you were together for two weeks, six months, or four years, breakups hurt. A LOT. What’s worse, they can be really hard to get past. A breakover is a set plan that moves you from the initial pain of a breakup to re-creating your life into what you want, better than what you had, with your confidence lifted and personal integrity intact. With the help of Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt (authors of It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken), here is The Breakover Plan:

1. No contact for 60 days.

2. Get yourself a Breakup Buddy.
3. Gather your Dream Team.

4. Allow yourself to grieve.

Source: Google Images

5. Get rid of his stuff. Gather some boxes. In one box, put all of his clothing and anything of value (iPod, CD's, X-Box, stereo) and give it to your Breakup Buddy to return to him—and, no, you can’t go with her...you’re on a 60-day detox, remember? In another box, put all of his personal items (toothbrush, underwear and anything else that is of little value and can be tossed) and put it out with this week's trash. In the third box, place all of the mementos of your relationship (cards, love letters, photos of the two of you, ticket stubs, stuffed animals, anything that makes you think of him), and give to your Breakup Buddy to keep at her house, with the understanding that she will not throw the box out nor will she give you access to it during the 60 days. Having those things around will do nothing but stall your progress and keep you sad and feeling hurt. Eventually, as time passes and you work through the pain and begin to feel better, you can decide whether to have your Breakup Buddy toss the box into the trash, or have her help you throw it out yourself. Out with the old...

Next step: 6. In with the new: Reclaim your living space!