Relationships: The Breakup Recovery Plan (Step 4)

[Note:  Although this entry was written for a woman in a heterosexual relationship, these same principles will help anyone whose relationship has ended.]



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Whether you were together for two weeks, six months, or four years, breakups hurt.  A LOT.  What’s worse, they can be really hard to get past.   A breakover is a set plan that moves you from the initial pain of a breakup to re-creating your life into what you want, better than what you had, with your confidence lifted and personal integrity intact.  With the help of Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt (authors of It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken), here is The Breakover Plan:

1. No contact for 60 days.

2. Get yourself a Breakup Buddy. 

3. Gather your Dream Team.



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4. Allow yourself to grieve.  A loss is difficult, no matter how you slice it.  You feel sad, angry, fearful, frustrated, annoyed, sad, sad, and sad.  There’s a saying that in order to get over pain you have to go right through it.  Let your feelings bubble up to the surface and recognize that tears, anger and the rest of those icky feelings are necessary to the healing process.  If you don’t give yourself permission now and just push your feelings aside, sometime in the future they will come back to bite you in the backside.  Guaranteed.  Better to feel crummy now and get past it, than to prolong the inevitable and put moving forward with your life on hold.


Next step:  5.  Get rid of his stuff.





[Source:  Behrendt, Greg & Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt.  It's called a breakup because it's broken.  New York:  Broadway Books, 2005.  Print.] 

(c) 2011-2016 Robyn King. All Rights Reserved.