Fair Fighting
Let it be known that arguments and disagreements are appropriate in all relationships. Through this special kind of communication a couple can either come closer together or be torn apart. The key is keeping your personal integrity and respect for your partner intact in the process--because you both have agreed to protect these things when you disagree.
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| Image: gahainc.com |
Finances
As unromantic as it sounds, money can make or break a
couple. Having financial problems produces incredible stress on the relationship, and many people are afraid to talk about personal finances in fear of our partner’s reaction. The healthiest relationships, however, involve regular, calmly-discussed status updates of the couple's money situation.
Discussing money with your partner is crucial to build a solid foundation for your relationship...especially in this shaky economy. Are both of you working? No? So are you actively looking and willing to take any job so you have an income? Should you get a second job? What will you do if one of you loses your job? What will each of you sacrifice to have what you need?
That brings me to another reality: want versus need. You both should agree on the necessities to keep your lives going: shelter, food, warmth, safety, etc. On the other hand, digital cable TV with DVR, an iPhone with all the bells and whistles and a super-slick car with crazy-outrageous insurance premiums are not needs, but wants. If you can afford them, great! If not, cut back to the basics. Remember, too, that as your financial situation changes, this plan will change with it. However, it is absolutely mandatory that you both discuss, agree upon and follow through with the financial plan you've made. Your relationship will not survive if you don't.
PS: Whether in a relationship or not, creating a concrete plan, developing a realistic budget, and preparing for the future are all important things to do.
Flexibility
Friendship
Fun
Sometimes life gets so busy that our days get scheduled up the wazoo. What often gets neglected is having fun. Having fun together is a great way for a couple to let their guard down and recharge their batteries. It becomes the time when we put aside the seriousness of life and create lasting memories. Couples need to make the time (putting it in their schedule, if necessary) and focus on how great it feels to have fun with the person you love most.
Forgiveness
We are all fallible, we all make mistakes. We say the wrong things or act in ways that we're not proud of. We forget birthdays, or that we were supposed to call at a certain time, etc. It happens and it is unavoidable. If we hold grudges or hold on to our anger and pain, we are only hurting ourselves. The concept of forgiveness is often misunderstood; forgiveness benefits the forgiver, not the forgiven. Do not confuse forgiveness with forgetting. If you have been wronged, you deserve an apology and for the situation to be made right. And regardless of whether you get the apology, forgive anyway to make the situation better for YOU.
(c) 2012 Robyn M. Posson
Discussing money with your partner is crucial to build a solid foundation for your relationship...especially in this shaky economy. Are both of you working? No? So are you actively looking and willing to take any job so you have an income? Should you get a second job? What will you do if one of you loses your job? What will each of you sacrifice to have what you need?
That brings me to another reality: want versus need. You both should agree on the necessities to keep your lives going: shelter, food, warmth, safety, etc. On the other hand, digital cable TV with DVR, an iPhone with all the bells and whistles and a super-slick car with crazy-outrageous insurance premiums are not needs, but wants. If you can afford them, great! If not, cut back to the basics. Remember, too, that as your financial situation changes, this plan will change with it. However, it is absolutely mandatory that you both discuss, agree upon and follow through with the financial plan you've made. Your relationship will not survive if you don't.
PS: Whether in a relationship or not, creating a concrete plan, developing a realistic budget, and preparing for the future are all important things to do.
 |
| Image: quest4thebest.org |
Both people are willing to accept that things will change a little bit over time, and be flexible to grow the relationship together. You accept that your partner is consistently changing and developing, but will keep certain core values (that you both embrace). You respect him/her and their ability to improve and you grow together.
Friendship
Friendship is the strong foundation of every intimate relationship. You have to like each other in addition to loving each other. When the passion wanes (as it does in every good relationship), it is the deep friendship that keeps people together.
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| Image: bscottphoto.com |
Sometimes life gets so busy that our days get scheduled up the wazoo. What often gets neglected is having fun. Having fun together is a great way for a couple to let their guard down and recharge their batteries. It becomes the time when we put aside the seriousness of life and create lasting memories. Couples need to make the time (putting it in their schedule, if necessary) and focus on how great it feels to have fun with the person you love most.
 |
| Image: hrudayam-theinnerjourney.blogspot.com |
We are all fallible, we all make mistakes. We say the wrong things or act in ways that we're not proud of. We forget birthdays, or that we were supposed to call at a certain time, etc. It happens and it is unavoidable. If we hold grudges or hold on to our anger and pain, we are only hurting ourselves. The concept of forgiveness is often misunderstood; forgiveness benefits the forgiver, not the forgiven. Do not confuse forgiveness with forgetting. If you have been wronged, you deserve an apology and for the situation to be made right. And regardless of whether you get the apology, forgive anyway to make the situation better for YOU.
(c) 2012 Robyn M. Posson
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