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| Image: gratuity-not-included.com |
There are times when we want to say exactly what's on our minds at exactly the time we're thinking it. You are almost bursting to tell your partner what you're really thinking. Hold on, now. This is where editing comes in.
What do you want to say, and in what spirit are you saying it? Are you complimenting, supporting or otherwise uplifting your partner? Are you trying to butter them up? Or are you so frustrated, hurt, angry, pissed that you just want to tell your loved one off? Being honest is always the best policy, but not at the expense of your partner's feelings...or your integrity.
Healthy couples have learned to take a moment to self-assess what's really going on ("Why do I want to say this?" "What's my motivation?" "What outcome will come of this?"). If the intent is to be loving, go for it. If you are angry or otherwise frustrated or stressed, take a time-out to calm down, choose your words carefully--being sure to address a behavior and not your partner's character.
What do you want to say, and in what spirit are you saying it? Are you complimenting, supporting or otherwise uplifting your partner? Are you trying to butter them up? Or are you so frustrated, hurt, angry, pissed that you just want to tell your loved one off? Being honest is always the best policy, but not at the expense of your partner's feelings...or your integrity.
Healthy couples have learned to take a moment to self-assess what's really going on ("Why do I want to say this?" "What's my motivation?" "What outcome will come of this?"). If the intent is to be loving, go for it. If you are angry or otherwise frustrated or stressed, take a time-out to calm down, choose your words carefully--being sure to address a behavior and not your partner's character.
What keeps a relationship really going is the effort that a couple puts in it. You should be willing to make amends after a fight, or help your partner go through his/her own personal struggle. The effort that you exert is highly appreciated, with the added bonus that your partner has become more sensitive to you in the relationship. Remember that you deserve to get at least as much as you give, and your partner deserves the same. Couples who exert efforts on their relationship naturally result in satisfied couples with deeper understanding of each other.
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| Image: vi.sualize.us |
One of the most important elements to a healthy relationship is a regular diet of physical contact with your partner…including those connections that are non-sexual in nature. Hugging offers many healing properties: One study found that hugging increased the amounts of oxytocin, a feel-good hormone. Hugging also reduces heart disease, diminishes stress, promotes longevity, strengthens social ties, lowers blood pressure, lowers heart rate, and benefits both huggers equally.
Make the time to hug each other several times a day, without the motivation of expecting anything in return. It's a wonderful way to strengthen the bond with your partner, it feels great, and costs nothing. Win-win-win!
Equality
Make the time to hug each other several times a day, without the motivation of expecting anything in return. It's a wonderful way to strengthen the bond with your partner, it feels great, and costs nothing. Win-win-win!
Healthy couples are comprised of two equal partners. In fact, the dictionary defines the word partner as "a person associated with another...in a joint venture, usually sharing its risks and profits." Each has an equal share in decision making, and neither partner is used selfishly by the other. Both benefit from the rewards, and work in tandem to endure the problems. The interests, opinions and feelings of both partners are shared equally and openly between each other.
Think of yourselves as members on the same team, working shoulder-to-shoulder on common goals, dodging the obstacles, each share carrying the ball and fighting off the opponent, and both doing your happy dance when you score, or holding each other up when you don't. That's a healthy relationship.
(c) 2012 Robyn M. Posson
Think of yourselves as members on the same team, working shoulder-to-shoulder on common goals, dodging the obstacles, each share carrying the ball and fighting off the opponent, and both doing your happy dance when you score, or holding each other up when you don't. That's a healthy relationship.
(c) 2012 Robyn M. Posson
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