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| Image: Love and Relationship Advice Blog |
Passion is a vital component of romance; it is simply a desire. A "spark." A desire to see and spend time inside your relationship. Passion for the relationship itself; a desire to work on its growth. You should know, however, that with passion comes vulnerability.
Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins explain: "We know of no way to have long-lasting passion...without allowing yourself to be vulnerable. What does being vulnerable mean? To us, it means opening to your truth and allowing the other person to see and hear who you truly are. It means letting down your defenses and your pretenses and just being who you truly are. True long-lasting passion comes from within as the two of you connect on a soul level. If one or both people are not willing to be who they truly are, then the spark between them has very little chance of authentic life."
Simply said, in order to create and sustain passion in relationships, both partners have to be willing to bare their souls and be completely open and honest...before they bare anything else.
Passion is meant to come in waves. If you feel that the "spark" has faded, make reconnecting with your partner a priority and schedule time together. Speak to each other about what your individual needs are, and create a plan to be sure both partners are satisfied with the outcome.
Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins explain: "We know of no way to have long-lasting passion...without allowing yourself to be vulnerable. What does being vulnerable mean? To us, it means opening to your truth and allowing the other person to see and hear who you truly are. It means letting down your defenses and your pretenses and just being who you truly are. True long-lasting passion comes from within as the two of you connect on a soul level. If one or both people are not willing to be who they truly are, then the spark between them has very little chance of authentic life."
Simply said, in order to create and sustain passion in relationships, both partners have to be willing to bare their souls and be completely open and honest...before they bare anything else.
Passion is meant to come in waves. If you feel that the "spark" has faded, make reconnecting with your partner a priority and schedule time together. Speak to each other about what your individual needs are, and create a plan to be sure both partners are satisfied with the outcome.
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| Image: necrodancer.blogspot.com |
There are a lot of outside influences that can affect how we behave towards other people. Sometimes how we behave has nothing to do with that individual in particular. Certain situations that invoke feelings of anger, fear or resentment are often not resolved right away, and we carry those feelings around until they inevitably spew out of us onto the first available target...usually someone we trust, like our partner.
Do not allow yourself to be mistreated, but try to be patient in certain situations where your partner has had a bad day. Perhaps her sister made her really mad today and she didn't resolve the issue with her, so it's been brewing in your partner all day. She comes home in a bad mood and doesn't feel like going to your mom's for dinner. Let her vent and talk about ways in which she can resolve the issue, actively listening to her and resisting the urge to solve the problem yourself.
His boss has been riding him all day, and he's totally fed up. He got a flat tire on the way home and had to change it in the pouring rain. He got passed over for a promotion. Again. He slams the front door, and immediately goes into the bedroom, garage or other private place and shuts the door. He needs time to calm down, and figure out for himself how to solve his problems. Give him the time and space he needs to do just that...without interruption. When he comes out of his "cave," he will most likely be calmer, and then will be in a better state of mind to tell you all about it. Ask if he wants you to just listen or whether he'd like your input.
If you believe in the "Golden Rule" (do unto others as you would have them do unto you), then put it in action. Muster all the patience you can to support your partner through the tough times. I guarantee it will be reciprocated somewhere down the line.
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| Image: telegraph.co.uk |
Remember the old saying, "Never go to bed angry?" It's solid advice. Bed time is never an appropriate time to start (or continue) an argument or discuss a problem. It's the time for winding down and literally putting the challenges and the worries of the day to bed.
The house is quiet, and the two of you are snuggled under the blankets and settling down for sleep. Face each other and quietly discuss the good parts of your day or things you're grateful for (come up with at least one thing). Then kiss goodnight and say "I love you." This kind of pillow talk is a wonderful way to close your day, and solidifies your bond so that you can face together whatever the next day brings.
(c) 2012 Robyn M. Posson
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