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| Image: realworldvenusmars.blogspot.com |
There is much comfort in knowing that the person you've chosen as your partner is totally committed to you and only you. Your partner is equally satisfied that you feel the same about him/her. This peaceful and safe feeling comes from a foundation of mutual trust, both given and received. (Also see Monogamy.)
Oneness is a feeling of being intimately connected to something or someone; a belief that we are all connected and part of the universe as a whole. It is the belief that one thrives with a spiritual connection, meaning that you can feel oneness with a higher power, nature, or the universe. This sense of belonging is a basic human need and necessary for survival.
In the context of relationships, oneness defines the strength and resilience of the connection you and your partner have built and maintained: Your common individual and partnership goals, mutual self-respect, admiration, care, trust and love. Oneness, however, does not mean that you relinquish your individuality or have it taken from you. Instead, it is two unique individuals living separate lives but walking the same path toward common goals together.
Originality
It is human nature to compare ourselves with others: we watch how other people dress and behave in social situations, the cars they drive, the neighborhoods they live in. We do this in a desperate desire to fit in, and yet we yearn to preserve elements of our individuality. It's a tough inner battle we all face.
That said, it's not uncommon for couples to model their relationships from others whose partnerships embrace the same standards, behaviors and ways of interacting--that desire to fit in with people whom you admire. However, within the healthy relationship, it's essential to maintain your individual selves, lives, goals and dreams.
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Certainly you know couples who are "perfect for each other." They are active in the community, go on vacations, have a nice home, and they're happy whenever you run into them. You may even secretly wish your relationship was more like theirs.
Keep in mind, though, that what this couple shows to the world may or may not accurately reflect their relationship's health. One partner could be cheating on the other, a partner and/or children might be abused, they have so many bills that they're filing for bankruptcy, there might be addictions living in the home, they are bored with each other, or they're in the process of ending the relationship because neither of them has been happy for quite some time.
Keep in mind, though, that what this couple shows to the world may or may not accurately reflect their relationship's health. One partner could be cheating on the other, a partner and/or children might be abused, they have so many bills that they're filing for bankruptcy, there might be addictions living in the home, they are bored with each other, or they're in the process of ending the relationship because neither of them has been happy for quite some time.
My point is that you shouldn't assume that other people have it better than you...including relationships. Choose the elements that you've seen in others and which are important to you (respect, patience, etc.), but create a partnership that makes room for each partner's original and unique individuality, and provides an accurate reflection of what your relationship really is to the world.
Openness
You and your partner are able to be emotionally open and honest, being able to express your opinions and be comfortable enough to allow and support your partner's emotional openness as well.
(c) 2012 Robyn M. Posson
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